What does it take to become a world-class parent? Is there even such a thing? According to the experts, not a great deal. It’s the little things that seem to make the most significant difference for children, not grand gestures. So developing ourselves into great parents is something that all of us can do, even if we have limited means.
Here’s what to do.
Don’t Label Your Children
It can be tempting to label your children with particular words to describe their abilities. You might have a “smart kid” or a “funny kid” or one that’s good at making friends. While conclusive remarks like these might sound harmless, they’re not without consequences.
A child who believes that they are the smart one in the family may try to protect their position by never doing anything challenging that could reveal otherwise. Similarly, the “sociable” child might neglect to pursue passion projects because they feel like they should be spending all their time with friends.
Importantly, don’t compare one child to another. Measuring one against the other can create unhealthy sibling rivalries and make kids feel like they’re never good enough.
Let Them Make Mistakes
If you train to be an au pair or a nanny, you’ll learn to allow children to make mistakes. Failure is the best way to learn about the world. Wouldn’t you agree?
The more you try something, and it doesn’t work, the less likely you will repeat the mistake in the future. The same goes for kids in your care. Let them work out how to navigate their environment under their own steam. You’ll be amazed by how much progress they make when you allow them to just get on with it.
Take A Step Back
Parents often feel like they have to entertain their kids all the time, but that’s not true. Trust me. In fact, some psychologists, like Michael Gurian, recommend filling their schedules with endless creativity.
Creativity and imagination begin with organic play, he says. So affording children the freedom to explore their environments can dramatically boost their capacity to entertain themselves and come up with new ideas.
Don’t Use Food As A Reward
A lot of parents (including me) get into the habit of using food as a reward. It seems simple enough. Your child does what you want, so you give them something tasty in return like ice cream or a donut.
Unfortunately, experienced parents know that this is a path to the dark side. The more you corrupt their taste buds with highly palatable food, the less likely they are to eat their greens.
What you ideally want is for children to internalize the desire to behave well. When you hand out sweet food for good behavior, you create an association between the two. Kids then grow up, rewarding themselves with junk food whenever they do anything well – which ultimately lead to long term unhealthy habits.
Therefore, your best bet is to reward them with a hug and avoid saying things like, “I’m proud of you.” So, when they achieve something, make it about them, not your feelings.
Final Thoughts
By following a few simple rules, growing into a great parent will come in no time. Remember. You don’t have to be a genius.
