Teenagers can be difficult, but as a parent, you love your teen all the same, even if they’re acting out or being moody. As your child grows up, they may not prioritize their relationship with you in the same way. This could be for many reasons, including having a more involved social life, having extra-curricular activities after school, or simply because they feel they have “outgrown” you. That last reason could be a bit hurtful, but even if your teenager acts like they don’t need your love and attention, you know they still do.
It can be trying to have to figure out ways to bond with your teenager. They might feel like you’re always on their case (even if you aren’t) or don’t have anything to talk about. This might actually be their way of yearning for a better connection, but they, too, don’t know how to go about it.
Here are four easy ways you can show your teenager you love them with the hopes of strengthening your bond.
1. Send them funny texts
As a parent, your job is to keep your kid on track, which means your text messages are probably full of reminders for chores or appointments. After a while, your teen may see you as someone without a sense of humor who only doles out tasks. You can add in some fun and try and make them laugh with a funny text, even if you don’t have a similar sense of humor. A funny joke or a meme could make them roll their eyes, but they will secretly feel good that you were thinking of them and wanted to share something funny.
2. Compliment them on things that matter to them
Yes, parents should compliment their kids for their efforts at school or in their extra-curricular activities like sports or music, but if those aren’t genuinely important to your teen, it won’t mean much to them. It’s common for parents to pay attention to what they think is important for their teenager and ignore everything else, but this can leave your teen feeling disconnected from you. Worse, it could make them feel as though you’re trying to manipulate them into pushing your own agenda on them.
Instead, take notice of what they’re interested in and what is important to them and offer support and compliments for that. If your teen is obsessed with makeup tutorials and tries new makeup looks, for example, you could say something positive about that. It gives your child the feeling that you are actually interested in what they’re interested, and can even give you something to bond over.
3. Show them support
Having faith in your teenager and offering up quick comments every now and then can do wonders for their opinion of how you think about them. A casual phrase like, “I know you can do it” or “I can always trust you to do ____” makes them feel confident and empowered.
Similarly, if your teen is going through a tough situation and dealing with a serious problem, they need to know you are there for them no matter what. They need that support from you as a parent. Always be open and honest with them during discussions to encourage them to share and open up. If they come to you for help with a problem, remain calm and figure out the best course of action to move towards recovery or some kind of resolution. You can use other resources as well so you don’t have to tackle this alone. For example, if your teen is struggling with an eating disorder, you can offer up professional help from a treatment center like Eden Treatment. It doesn’t mean you can’t handle the situation as a parent, but rather than you want to get all the help you can to be there for your child.
4. Say “I love you”
This might be an obvious one, but sometimes it can get forgotten, especially if your teen doesn’t always say it back to you. Tell them you love them frequently. Even if they put up a stoic facade or act irritated when you say it, they will remember it when they’re older and will appreciate it no matter what.
