When your marriage breaks down, it is one of the most devastating things you can go through. This is not where you thought you’d end up when you agreed to marry them, and it is the complete opposite of what you expected to happen. However, if you were feeling unhappy in your marriage, perhaps you also feel a sense of relief that it’s coming to an end because you know deep down that it wasn’t right and hadn’t been for a while.
Yes, divorce is an emotional rollercoaster, but it isn’t always just about what you’re going through. If you have children, the dissolution of your marriage will affect them, too. This can be one of the most difficult things about divorce, so if this is happening to you, here are some tips on how to get through a divorce when you have children to think about.
Get a Good Attorney
It’s always wise to get a reasonable attorney when you get a divorce to make sure that you’re getting the best arrangement, but if you share children with your spouse, you’ll also need to go through the painful process of a custody battle.
Coming up with a fair custody agreement that is right for the kids is essential, so make sure you’re hiring expert attorneys to help you with this process like this specialist child custody attorney in Tulsa OK.
Talk to Your Kids
When you have decided to get a divorce, ideally, you and your spouse should sit down and break the news to your kids together. Let them know how much you both love them and that you are going to work together to make sure that they will continue to see both of you as much as possible.
Try to be as honest as possible with them regarding the situation, but agree with your spouse beforehand about what can be kept between the two of you for the time being, as some things might be too much for your kids to take in right now.
Don’t Bad Mouth Each Other in Front of the Kids
If you’re getting a divorce, you will likely have a few negative things to say about your spouse. While venting about your relationship with friends and family is understandable and natural when you’re going through a break-up, you mustn’t do this in front of your kids.
Even if you have a low opinion of your ex, that is still their parent, and it’s not fair to make them feel stuck in the middle or risk spoiling their relationship with their other parent as a result. You need them to make up their minds about how they feel about your ex.
Spend Time with Them
They might not want to spend every waking minute with you, and that’s OK, but make sure that you are setting aside time to spend with your kids while you’re going through a divorce. Try to arrange fun things to do with each other like going to a theme park, a day out at the beach, or even a family movie night to try and take all of your minds off of what is going on for a little while.
They will need to be comforted at this time, so you need to make yourself available to them and let them know that they can talk to you about it if they want to.
Divorce is never easy, but it’s even harder when you have kids to think about. If you’re going through this right now, consider the tips above and see how they can help.
